September Long Weekend

I've been taking the BP medication and for the most part I do feel better.    I say that as a general overview but today I didn't feel all that well for some unknown reason.

 

After work this afternoon I went to the health food store and bought some Udo's Oil and I'll take it hoping it can do no harm and hopefully help some too.    I'm sort of feeling desperate although I haven't been given a reason to do so.    My appointment with the Internal Medicine specialist isn't until September 17th and I have to remember to remain calm and collected until then.

 

I thought I was referred to a Cardiac doctor but I checked the physician's directory at work and he's an internal medicine specialist.    I've decided that's good because seeing a cardiac doctor just seems too serious and I don't really want to wrap my head around that one.

 

Tomorrow Jacob and I are heading to Edmonton around 10:00am for grandma's birthday.   Jillian and Chris are heading there too.   Jonathan is leaving very early in the morning so he can get into Edmonton early and golf with his brother.   Jacob isn't golfing with them this time because of his concussion and headache and vision problems.   Dinner will be at an Italian restaurant downtown.  We will be staying over night at James and Betty's house and will be leaving to get back to Calgary on Sunday.

One good thing to mention is that Jacob didn't have too much of a headache today and took less Advil for it.    He says his vision is still getting better every day.    The doctor at the Children's Hospital says that once his headaches stop completely he has to wait 2 full days afterward before he starts going back to his normal activities.   Hopefully this will happen soon.

 

Best Plans ... Worst News

Well things have taken a turn.    It looks like Jillian has delayed moving out for now.  Although I'm sure she won't be home long.    Am I happy?    Yes, I can say I think she's made the right decision and I hope she doesn't rush into anything.

Yesterday I went to see the doctor because I've been feeling off for a while now.    What made me decide to see the doctor was when I had difficulty walking the 8 minute walk from Superstore to work last Thursday.   It was awful, I was out of breath, light headed and nauseous.    When I got back in work I called and made the appointment.

I was surprised to know that I had a blood pressure reading of over 160/90 ... the highest it's ever been.  My heart was racing and the doctor wanted me to get a EKG right away.   I also have an appointment to see a cardio specialist for a consultation on September 17th.    The doctor thinks I will be getting a stress test booked after the consultation.    And she put me on blood pressure medication.   Something I really didn't want to happen.   But to be honest I was scared of how I was feeling and caved really easily this time around.

The disappointing thing about all this is that I don't think I'll be able to participate in the half marathon in San Francisco.   Right now I know I can't train, I don't have the cardio power to do it.    I don't know if I should either.     Maybe after the September 17th appointment I can have a better understanding of what I should be doing and what to expect.

Anyway I look at it, this really sucks!!

Then there is Jacob.   He had a biking accident on Saturday, August 25th.    Around dinner time he came home from biking with his friend Liam.   He told us he had a crash on his bike and his elbow was all bashed up and bloody but what worried us was the fact that he said he was seeing double.    Jonathan immediately took him to the Urgent Care Centre where he was examined and then refered to the Children's Hospital for a CT for a possible brain bleed.

Happy to say the CT showed no bleed and we were sent home.   The next day he still was troubled with double vision and I took him to the Optometrist to have his eyes checked.   She could find nothing wrong but referred him to an Opthamologist for an exam the following day.   We went to see Dr. Yau and he said he's hurt the 4th optical nerve and over time his vision will improve and the double vision will go away.   Needless to say I was very relieved.    Although he's still troubled with headaches from this concussion his eyesight is improving a little bit every day.  We go back after the long weekend for a follow-up appointment.

It's been a strange and scary few days that's for sure.

Oh My F'ing GOD !

So it seems like some times things are not going to go well no matter what.  

 

Jillian and Chris come back from their holiday and all I want to hear about is all their stories about their visit on Vancouver Island but what they want to talk about is the fact that they want to move in together.    Really?    Really?   You would think that they haven't listened to one single thing we've said, ever.    It's disappointing really and I am coming to realize that they really don't care what we think even if it's keeping their best interest at heart.   She is only  half way done university and our concern is that life happens and she won't complete her degree.

 

I don't think I've ever been more disappointed.    More than that even is the fact that I'm coming to the conclusion that I don't think I even respect Chris anymore.     Jillian is using every excuse to justify moving in with him saying everyone here at home talks to her too much when she is trying to study and we live too far out that commuting to school is too troublesome.   Another thing mentioned is that Chris is spending too much money on gas driving back and forth to our house to pick her up.   Really?   Really?     Just when you think you've heard of everything.

 

As disappointed as I am I do want her to move out.     She is only going to be more miserable than ever if she doesn't do what she wants to.   She is so jealous of everyone around her and if she thinks that will make her life easier and happier who am I to stand in her way?

 

I do want Jacob to have her room and enjoy the extra space for a few years.   He deserves that too.   So if I have to think about that to make this better in my head okay I will.

 

 

Finished Being Sad ... Maybe.

So I may finally be over my after holidays blues.     I was in quite a funk when we got back to Calgary.    I didn't want to be home but didn't want to be away any more either.   I couldn't stand the heat but couldn't stand the fans running all the time either.    I didn't want to go to work, unpack, cook or do anything.

I wonder why I was in such an awful state?      It will be a big mystery.

While we were away I often felt sad too.   But mostly it would be when I would think about our little Stuart.     It still brings me to tears when ever I think about him.   I miss him so much and would do anything to have him back.   It's even stupid to say that and it makes me all the more sad.

I wonder how long it will be until I'm finally feeling better in general?   It sucks being upset whenever I think about him.    I don't think anyone else in the family is as ripped up about it as I still am.   Either that, or they are much, much better at hiding it than I am.    I'm feeling like such a loser and I can't get my feelings under control.   

Vacation Review

We are back from our vacation to the States.   It was a 12 day tour.   Busy and awfully hot.    I know part of the point of going was to experience the desert in the middle of summer but it ended up being the unpleasant part of the holiday for me.    I didn't know I really disliked the extreme heat so much.   There was no escape from it, no cool breeze like we have here.   The sun goes down but the temperatures do not.    It was too much for me.   I feel badly about disliking it so much but it is what it is.

I really loved Sedona, AZ.   So beautiful and somewhere I want to go again.      Las Vegas was okay but maybe I've been there too often to really enjoy it anymore.    It was nice to have Jacob and Jillian see it though.   Jillian was too young to really remember anything about it the last time we were there.   Disneyland was good but not the trip I wanted it to be.    We got into the park too late everyday and I don't think we saw as much as we did the other times we were there.    Jonathan didn't like walking around much and that limited what we did and saw.    The Arizona Biltmore hotel was really beautiful and I'm glad we went there for two nights.   One night would have never been enough.    It is somewhere that I'd like to go again too.

We took a lot of photos and I've only seen the ones I took so far.  Unfortunately my camera did a crappy job and many of my photos are really awful.    Jacob and I bought him a great camera and he took a bunch of photos but he hasn't but them onto the computer yet so I haven't seen them yet.   He didn't take his camera into Disneyland so we don't have good photos from there, too bad.  Hopefully tomorrow he will put them onto the computer.   I asked him to do it today but I'm 100% sure that he didn't.     I think if he would have done it he would have wanted me to see the photos.