I remember being little and people asking, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I remember being so sure and determined and telling them that I wanted to be a veterinarian. For me there were no other choices, it seems logical and just right. It wasn't until I was a little older that I started to worry about animals dying and having to deal with that. That was what made me wonder if it was really the right choice for me. I didn't have any guidance along the way. No one to coach me or tell me to follow my heart.
I know for a fact that isn't the kind of parent I wanted to be. My mom, for the most part, didn't have the energy to go into caring what my particular dreams for the future were. For her it was a question parents asks children ... a blank question.
When I made the decision to have children of my own, I wanted to really be sure to see what their strengths and weaknesses were so I could really guide them with their life choices, particularly education. Now I know my mother and I come from different times ... she grew up during the war in Germany. I'm sure my dreaming and daydreaming seemed pretty frivolous to her. I'm sure she thought that just getting a job and a paycheque was good enough. Doing something you loved seemed neither here nor there.
But now I'm almost 50 years old and still unhappy with my life choices regarding education and career. In fact, I am so happy that I almost crave to see my kids do better for themselves and enjoy their lives more than I do. At this point I would do anything to see them succeed and have fulfilling lives. I want it more than anything at all.
