A friend died at the beginning of March. Her memorial is April 4th. It's in Vancouver and I'm not going. It's a 12 hour car trip across the mountains and the weather is unpredictable at this time of year. I could fly and rent a car when I get there, stay the night and fly home afterwards. But that is too expensive really. If the option was to drive I believe I would go. I've decided to stay home instead. I feel sort of bad about it though.
If I were going to see her for a visit that would be another matter entirely. But sadly, this isn't the case. The only person I would know there is Joey, her common-law partner and he is a pathetic waste of space.
He broke her heart. She died alone and lonely and utterly heartbroken. I blame him for all that. It breaks my heart thinking about it. And it makes me mad.
Two people have asked me if I am going to the funeral. It's not easy to say no I'm not going. But they aren't going either.
I've spent so much time and energy worrying and wondering about her death. Now I feel exhausted by it all. I heard through the grapevine that she passed away due to a stroke. Joey promised to tell me when he got the autopsy results but he never fulfilled that promise. The last person I want to see is him. I don't want to express my sympathy to him either.
It's all so sad.
