Good Bye to Doug

Today was Doug's last shift.    I'm happy I had a chance to work with him today.    We didn't work on the same site so we didn't get to talk much.   But it was great to work with him all the same.    He's still working on the hat to go with the mittens he made for the Cancer fund raising raffle at work.   He says he will mail them to me when it is done.    I hope he remembers ... because I want to buy all the raffle tickets I can for them.

Gosh I will miss having him at work.   He is someone I always look forward to seeing at work ... he makes it fun.    

Strange Day

Yesterday, Monday April 26th, was a strange day.     I stayed in, sort of doing close to nothing ... a little straightening up here and there.    I got ready for work and once I got to the parking lot found out that I didn't have my parking pass.   At least I was unable to find my parking pass.    So I had to find a spot where I could park and got into work a few minutes later than usual.    I got there to see Pam standing at the desk I was going to be sitting in (she was talking to Catherine).    I assumed she was only visiting ... and I asked what shift she was working.  She said, "2:45".    I said, "me too!"    Then right away I knew something was wrong but I thought she just came in too early.    If she was 2:45 FMC/ACH she would have started already.   The 2:45 at RGH/PLC starts at 3:00 ... even if we do have to arrive at 2:45.     The schedules were checked ... we were both booked in for the same shift, same site.    Pam didn't want to go home.   I thought she would because she is leaving for her backpacking trip through England on Wednesday.    I figured she had a million things to do.   Well she didn't ... in fact, she said she was in "work mode" and wanted to work.    So I did the only thing I could think of, I said I had a crappy weekend and perhaps going home would be a nice thing.   So I did.   I did get paid for 4 hours for going ... the scheduling error was theirs, not mine.   That was fair but I didn't get to work with Doug and it will be his last day on the 30th of this month.   So that was too bad.

Then there is the thing about my parking pass.    I can't find it.   Jonathan cleaned out my car the day before we left for Edmonton because he wanted to take my car.   He turfed everything out ... my gas receipts, my day timer, my breast cancer walk papers in the trunk and my Kermit the Frog bag.   They were all heaped up on the freezer ... except my parking pass and gas receipts.    He says he threw out my gas receipts saying, "You don't keep them do you?"      What the hell, I was keeping them ... clearly ... they were in the cubby beside my parking pass.    I have a system ... I don't mess with it.    Everything has it's place and I know where it is.     I'm so angry.   And of course, he says he didn't touch my parking pass.    Of course he didn't.    Shit!

So yesterday I spent a lot of time going through my car, Jon's car, my purse, my Kermit the Frog bag, etc. looking for the damned parking pass.    Today I have the pleasure of going through the recycling bin and the garbage in the garage to see if I can locate it.

You know, this wouldn't be so bad ... but I think he has also thrown away my fold away greenhouse that I got for Mother's Day a few years back.     I can't find it for anything.    He swears he didn't throw that away either ... but he's the only one who goes crazy in the garage throwing stuff away.    I'll grab the ladder and check the rafters in the garage today when I'm in there and see what I can see.    If I can't find it ... then I know he did throw it away and then I'll know he is lying about that and then frankly, I don't know what I'll think.

Clete Update

This weekend we drove up to Edmonton to visit Clete, Jonathan's step-father. These trips to Edmonton have become a sad reality and necessity in our lives. Clete is in the end stages of terminal cancer and it's so tough to see.   He was admitted into the hospital again last Thursday morning.

Jonathan continues to amaze me with his strength and compassion. When we arrived on Saturday around noon Jonathan quickly noticed that Clete needed a shave. He had Jacob run out to the car to get his razor. Clete really seemed to appreciate this. Jonathan tended to him with such care that it made me fall in love with him all over again. He cleaned him up, combed his hair and even made Clete smile. Then he fed Clete lunch. He wasn't able to eat much because he doesn't have any appetite but he did get him to eat a little bit.   Jacob had a bit of a breakdown seeing Clete.   I don't know exactly when it happened but when he started to cry he had to leave the area and go out into the hallway and cry.   Jillian was the one that broke down the first time we visited him at the hospital and this time it was Jacob's turn.   At dinner time he ate a little Hot and Sour soup that was picked up from his favorite Chinese restaurant so that was good.   Marge fed him that time.   

We visited again this morning ... our third visit in 2 days. Jonathan got the news paper and read the headlines with him. He also raided the warm blanket cabinet to get Clete a warm blanket ... he was so cold sitting there.   Clete drifted in and out of sleep due to the morphine he's on to control pain.   Just before we left Jonathan asked the nurse if they could help him back into bed.   He had been sitting the a chair and with his constant drifting in and out of sleep I worried he may fall out of his chair.    Also, before we left the nurse came in and removed his IV.    He was eating and drinking enough so he didn't need it anymore.   That was good to see.

It's so hard to see someone going through this. Cancer is awful.  I don't know if we will see him again.    That's sort of the tough part.    You say good-bye, give him a hug and a kiss and you don't know if you'll ever have the chance to do that again.    It just tears me up.

Early Day

Today I worked at 6:45am.    Waking up was okay, going into work was okay ... the whole day was okay ... but when I came home I crashed ... hard.    I ended up eating a peanut butter sandwich and went right to bed.    I really needed it.   The sleep was crappy though because Jonathan and Jacob were rotating the tires on both the cars and the tool they were using was so loud and it was right outside my window.   But it was a good retreat from everything and I managed to squeak in a few little sleeps.

I noticed today that the people I work with were a little more dis-satisfied then usual.     I can't put my finger on it exactly but the mood was a little off.     There is really something to be said for 'doing what you love'.   We just received a 5% wage increase and you would never know it.    I was trying to explain that to Jacob just last night.   I want him to go to University or College to do what he loves.    That's all that matters.   Money will come and go but it's the quality of the work that matters.    Today proved it to me.    We've received a 15% increase (5% a year for 3 years) ... a real bonus considering how the economy was suffering last year.   Yet these women seem so unsatisfied with it all.   It makes me shake my head.

Feels Like Summer

Today really feels like summer.    Jonathan watered the grass, flowers and trees in the backyard this morning.   Jacob and Jonathan are off golfing this afternoon.   Today was Jillian's last day of Chemistry / Saturday school and she got to go in later than her usual 8:00am so she was happy.

As the boys were getting ready to go I was getting my seeding tray ready for planting.   I started peas, hollyhocks, scabiosa, salpiglossis, watermelons, ornamental corn, pole beans, poppies, blue poppies, zucchini, and cucumbers.     The rest I'm going to seed directly into the garden (maybe tomorrow).     These will include morning glories, sweet peas and moon vine.   I'm thinking of also planting carrots again ... and for sure tomatoes and lettuces.

I have such a small garden but I am going to make the most of it this year.

A Day Off With No Plans

Today I have a day off.    For some reason I'm feeling a little down and I can't figure out why exactly.    I think perhaps this biopsy stuff has gotten me a little upset.     It's not like I really think there is something wrong with me ... I don't ... I just hate the speculation and the appointments and the checking and poking.    I makes me remember why I just stopped paying attention to all this about 4 years ago.   

I have the day ahead of me and I don't know what I'm going to do just yet.    I phoned Teresa but she wasn't home.   As I was dialing her phone number I remembered that this is her coffee morning.    So I'm here in front of the computer deciding what I'm going to do next.     I really think I should go to the gym and get on the treadmill for a little training for that 60km walk.    Maybe that's what I'll do.

List of People

This is a list of people I've contacted regarding the Weekend to End Women's Cancers and the dates I sent them each an email.

March 20:
Martha Schlender
Lisa Donaldson
Jenny Kachkar
Richard Leong
Tim Seever
Teresa Schlender (responded)
Esther Davidchuk
Melodie Reid  (responded)

March 22:
Kurt Bauert
Steve Mehl
Don Burnett
Murray Nordstrom
Ernie Kubitz
Brad Chartrand
Len Weidemann (responded to Jonathan)
Nikki Ducharme
Shelly Cinnamon-Bolus (responded)

March 26:
Susan Weidemann (see Len Weidemann)
Hayley and Jesse Feguson
Alison and Micheal Van Dyke
Jenny and Dennis Silliker

March 31:
Selina Michetti
Perry Michetti
Crys Michetti
Dina Michetti
Pauline Wadden  (responded)
Janice Bryks