I don't want this to be a blog about every time I'm feeling down I write. But that's what it's turning out to be.
I always want to write out my disappointments and sadness rather than discuss them with people who really couldn't care less or even worse are the source of my disappointment and sadness.
It's easier to just get it off my chest this way and not bother the rest of the world or face them head on and create more of a bad situation.
I know I have to make some changes in my life and it's scary to think about and even scarier to write about it or say it out loud.
But change has to come and soon. Firstly I have to change my job. I'm going to take a MS Excel Level One course next Friday and that's a step in the right direction. I also have to look at taking some other classes and get things going. I have to broaden my skills in order to get another job.
I've had a pretty good week, this past week when Jonathan was in Toronto. Don't get me wrong, I
missed him but I didn't miss the way he makes me feel all the time. He wasn't in the house long at all and all I wanted was for him to leave again. I don't know why he takes such pleasure in making me feel bad. I don't know what to do. I'm not happy with how he makes me feel. Perhaps I am the one that needs to find a job where I am not at home very much.
Maybe that's what I will wish for.
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