I've come to the conclusion that what I want is only what I want and doesn't reflect the wants of others. I'm speaking specifically about marriage. Jonathan found the note I left on the card he wrote to Jason. He said, "you left me a mean note." Mean? I wrote, "good advice", then added something like I wasn't "good" enough. How is that mean? I'm just being honest.
I don't know how on earth he can seriously think it's okay to not marry me. I want to be wanted, adored and loved. I want that "can let her get away" feeling for myself. Is that so wrong?
Apparently it is. I still don't know what I'm going to do.
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